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Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

Discussion in 'Humor Talk' started by Rich Conlon, Nov 2, 2010.

  1. Rich Conlon

    Rich Conlon RichieC

    Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?





    Here is a little test that will help you decide.


    You're walking down a
    deserted street with your wife
    and two small children.

    Suddenly, an Islamic
    Terrorist with a huge knife
    comes around the corner,
    locks eyes with you,
    screams obscenities, praises Allah,
    raises the knife, and charges at you...

    You are carrying a
    Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.
    You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
    What do you do?


    Democrat's Answer:

    • Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
    • Does the man look poor or oppressed?
    • Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
    • Could we run away?
    • What does my wife think?
    • What about the kids?
    • Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
    • What does the law say about this situation?
    • Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
    • Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
    • Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
    • Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
    • If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
    • Should I call 9-1-1?
    • Why is this street so deserted?
    • We need to raise taxes, have “Paint & Weed Day”
    • Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
    • I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
    • This is all so confusing!


    ..........................................
    Republican's Answer:

    BANG!



    ......................................



    Southerner's Answer:

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG!
    BANG!
    BANG!
    Click

    Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy!'
    'Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! '

    Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'

    Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!
     
  2. Hunt22-250

    Hunt22-250 Scuba Steve

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  3. mworkman

    mworkman Well-Known Member

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    ACBass Well-Known Member

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