lexophilia- some good laughs

• How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.




• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!




• A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.







• I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.







• Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.




• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.







• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.




• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.







• I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.







• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.







• I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.




• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.




• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.




• When chemists die, they barium.




• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.




• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.







• Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.







• I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.




• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?







• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.




• Broken pencils are pointless.







• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.




• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.




• All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.




• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.




• Velcro - what a rip off!




• Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.

 

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